Sorrow in the Holidays

Grief is difficult year round, but seems to be especially difficult during the winter holidays. A smell, a scent, a song can immediately bring back the feelings of sorrow. Grief can make you feel lost in the world. The sight of that empty seat at the holiday table brings sadness and memories. There are sweet memories of the person not there, inside jokes, traditions, some regrets and some memories you can't quite access. 

Grief can look like anything; it can show up so many different ways. Grief is always changing, never leaving us alone long enough to feel safe. New experiences can feel hard and good experiences can bring guilt. Grief can affect our physical health and bring flares of a chronic illness and affect our mental health and bring depression and anxiety. 

The winter holidays are appointed times for sharing with friends and family, sharing ceremonies celebrating spirit and sharing our hope of light returning to the dark world as the days get shorter and nights get longer. The holidays can also be appointed times of grief when someone important is gone. New holidays and dates mark our journey without our loved one, ever marching forward. Going forward can feel sad, uncomfortable and lonely.

Grief is also about forgiveness and growth. We learn to forgive the frailty of human life and forgive our failures as we grow into our best new version of ourselves. We learn to cope and hold empathy. These lessons become our gift when we pass them on to another grieving soul. 

Just like the winter holidays search for a light in the world, grievers search for a light to lead them out of the dark depths of grief. The winter holidays tell us to hold on, because the days are going to get longer and the warmth will return to our lives. To everyone grieving, I wish to remind you that the days will become brighter for longer and warmth will return to your heart.

- Angela Moore, JD, LCSW | Dec 14, 2023